Talking to Gain Control

Talking about our feelings is not always necessary and we are able to identify whether talking about what we are feeling, even just to yourself, will lead us to problem solving. Knowing that we can trust another person that we might share this intimate discussion with is key.

The latest neural research shows that by just naming a feeling, both positive and negative, can reduce its impact. Common advice after traumatic events is to encourage the individual to talk about the feelings generated. If the emotional impact of negative feelings can be reduced, healing of the pain caused by the trauma will occur. Talking about being fearful or angry, for example, names your emotion and gives you the opportunity to make a plan that will help you better manage your life. Talking with someone helps you to reduce your isolation and gives you confidence knowing you are not alone.

A friend who cares about you will often provide a safe environment in which you can express your troubles. This, by itself, is therapeutic. A trusted friend will keep your self-revelations confidential. An open discussion about your feelings and the events precipitating them, however, may require someone to listen who is objective, doesn’t have a vested interest in your friendship, and will assist you to think clearly and problem solve to gain back control. This is especially important when feeling blocked or stuck. A therapist or counselor may be just the problem solver you need to take charge of your situation and make a plan to return to the serenity you want.